One Year, I Love You

The unspoken words, forever with me

The last memories I will always see

I prefer that image to think of you gone

But I hate it’s the last one

I hope one day we can speak again

Share these words that make me insane

Have the time I let slip away

Yet I think of you day after day

Those last words I’ll never forget

That I couldn’t say more I’ll always regret

I hope you’re happy up there

I hope you know how much I care

I’m not good at showing

But you kept going

I was unsettled lacking in trust

But I knew you loved me I knew you must

I loved you always forever and today

Although I didn’t always say

A year has flow far too fast

Like the time we had didn’t last

I’m so sorry I never did say 

How much I loved you every single day

I’m so glad we got a goodbye

But it leaves me wondering why

Why we couldn’t have spoken about it all

Wish I hadn’t stood so tall

Letting my guard down right here

I’d do anything to have you near

To say goodbye right

Hug you so tight

But that’s for when we meet one day

I know all the things I have to say

So for now as we part

I love you forever, goodnight sweetheart.

Steevi Jay Thomas

The Undiscussed Topic

Feel so completely isolated

Not despised, not hated

Just no one wants to hear

No one wants to get too near

I don’t know why they are so afraid

But when explained they’ve never stayed

Like a conversation they can’t face

But it’s ok in their case

Everyone refuses to face the fact

Because they don’t know how to act

I lay my cards for all to see

But I don’t feel they accept me

I would do anything to avoid 

But it makes me so god damn annoyed

That everyone wants me to discuss theirs

But when it’s me I don’t feel they care

Or just can’t face the awkward openness 

But does it make me any less

Would you rather me lie 

Pretend at times I don’t want to cry

Just smile on constant for your pleasure

And hide my illness at all measures

Because if we can’t face mental health

We lack in an open mind full of stealth 

Well here is to me not hiding away

From the walls I face every day

Because if I go back in my shell 

Refuse to be open refuse to tell

It will eat me alive

And I’ve had to be open to survive

I am not going to hide

I don’t need anyone by my side

But don’t ask me to fake that I am fine

Lie because you haven’t crossed that line

If your not brave enough to open your mind 

Then I hope you’re happy living blind

Steevi Jay Thomas

LIFE MOTTO

Borrow

Positivity is fast disappearing
Feels like something bad is nearing
Can’t seem to reaffirm
That life is worth what we learn
Haunted by a recurring past
Where nothing good ever lasts
Building up faith and trust
Being told that I must
Then it seem I was right
That I should’ve seen the light
Not allowed my self think
That happiness was on the brink
To think friendship was unbreakable
From the heart and unfakeable
Thinking that all words are honesty
One more belief people have cost me
So when I’m sitting here dark in my mind
Wanting to talk but no ones so kind
Drowning in a negative dreams
I want to be alone not in a team
No one really wants to hear
Just so when in need they know your near
It’s a favour not a mutual bond
They don’t care not as fond
But what hurts is I care if someone crys
Someone laughs someone dies
But others of met only see
What can please themself, I, me
I’d rather be lost in pitch black
Than trust and it be thrown straight back
I will hurt I will cry
I would frankly rather die
Than ever borrow my faith again
The sanest of the insane

Steevi Jay Thomas

There’s a cigarette for every occasion 
theme by 1000scientists